Gluten and the Wheat Farmer


So, I was raised on a farm, a WHEAT farm. I love wheat. I love bread. I love wheat berries in soup. I love whole, or white, or anything wheat. When I was young, my breads won prizes at the state fair.  When this gluten-free fad began, I said, “Piffle.”

Well, the last few years I have had small tummy clinches. I thought it was my age, like some malady that sets in when you “advance”, like old folks’ low hydrochloric acid (cute), or some sort of beneficial wrigglies (ugh) which die away when you “advance”.

Anyway, I decided to try knocking out fake sugars when we all heard the news they can promote diabetes. Yay, the tummy liked that, but some clinches stuck around. So, tried the wheat test: cut it for a few days, tummy felt pretty good. Then, on a Sunday brunch I got back into it with some wonderful breakfast-house biscuits and, two hours later, the tummy stuck it to me. Tried a few more days without wheat, all better again.

It’s been two or three weeks now with no wheat (sorry, wheat farmers, my apologies) and the tummy feels great. I need to try wheat again, a time or two just to be sure, but man, I’m afraid to.

Anybody else got some kind of wheat thing going?

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